For anyone who doesn't know me, considering that this is a public blog, I am a survivor of male-on-male rape. At fourteen-years-old, I was raped by the older brother of a schoolmate at his home. At eight-years-old, I was molested by my Aunt's husband (who is now deceased). I was touched inappropriately by an older neighbor shortly after that.I'm not one to be easily triggered, but sometimes I do get triggered. Doesn't happen often, but... My problem isn't being triggered, but feeling like I have no right to complain because my pain was a mere bruise in comparison to the pain that others out there have endured.
So I remain silent and I never speak of the events of my life. I remain silent because I feel like I have no right to open my mouth.
And it hurts sometimes - because I want to let it out.
2 comments:
My love, don't you ever feel like you have no right to complain about your own pain. Yes, there are others who have suffered more and worse, but that does NOT invalidate your pain or make you any less worthy of talking about it and being comforted and listened to.
You've said to me a few times that nothing will ever make my pain any less valid or worthy just because they are trivial compared to yours or others'. Well I say the same to you. Your experiences and pains are valid and worthy because you experience them. You feel them. And I don't give a fuck how profound or trivial they might be, or how much worse anyone else has had it... they matter to ME, because they are your hurts and I love you.
I understand how you feel.
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